Love and Marriage

Ok today i was sitting with DaGreekGoddess and OMGThatSmile's lil sis HairQueen as she was colouring my hair.....(thanks so much babe, i luv it!)
The topic of relationships and marriage came up...wen we think we'll get married, to who, how many kids we want etc...

Recently this sort of conversation has been popping up everywhere...it really started me thinking. Do i want to get married?? Will i find someone i believe to be that special?? And will i be a good mum?? I freaked!!!!

Everyone was saying that they cant wait to get married and they want between 2-4 kids...they will be picky about who they chose (if they havent chosen already) but wen they do it will be all or nothing. They see themselves getting married pretty young and settling down with a family too...

Why didnt this sit rite with me?

Is it that i've been burned before by men?
Will no one ever live up to my papa BigBoss?
My interaction with marriage and relationships has put me off?
Am i doomed to be A sexual?
Is Orlando Bloom goin to one day wake up to his undying love for me?

God i wish it was the latter... haha

If u think about it, relationships and marriages are failing everywhere these days, life is becoming too stressful, circumstances are driving ppl apart and the strive for independence is huge. How many friends do u have that have seperated or divorced parents, how many times have u had to console that best friend on a nasty break up....and i hate to say it but how many times have u been gropped walkin to the toilet in a bar...

Its becoming too easy to stay alone....Wen casual sex is as about as common as seeing a commodore in Salisbury why do we need to make things 'official'? Wen seeing someone is getting all the quirks whilst not feeling guilty about planting ur seed in someone else too.... Wen we can pick up thru SMS dating services for christ sake!

So i thought about past relationships, how they started, how they failed, why i regret some of them.... All was good in the beginning and some were great all the way to the end... But some i figured out was just for the sake of having someone there...as bad as that is, u dont know at the time...
I thought i was into them, and probably was at first but that soon faded and i started to see an ugly side and this resulted in goin our seperate ways... now before i make myself sound like a one woman melrose place let me explain...

Girls will really know what im talkin about here... How many times have u really got into a guy, gone out with him, he's been a complete gentleman, made u feel like u were the best thing since keyless entry not to mention called u every nite to hear about the mundain things u did that day? So things were all goin well, then a month or so down the track u find out the real person behind this Fabio fasade... He doesnt call unless its because hes got the house to himself for a few hours or even the other (worse) extreme, goes thru ur phone to see ur msg's, who you've called and screams at u wen u look at Olivier Martinez on the tv.

This is the thing putting me off relationships not to mention marriage....ppl change. ppl arent wat u see them for, and u certainly dont know someone well enuf in a month to be with them let alone know if u love them!
Im not saying im immune from it, i know i change and i know that wen i lose respect for someone it is about as possible to get back as driving ur car up Mt. Everest. So am i doomed? If someone steps out of line once is it all over? Thats wat im scared of, that i will neva find someone that can make me happy and that i will devote all my strength to making them happy too.

Marriage is another story all together....ok majority of ppl will get married somewhere in their 20's...this means that if all goes well u will be spending the next say 60 yrs with this person....and only this person....
Im worried about how much i will change in the next yr, imagine the transformation over 60 yrs! I find it hard to believe that there will be some guy out there that i will still love and adore and want after that period of time. He will change and so will i, life will take us in such different directions it would be so hard to stay the youngsters we were wen we took our vows.

In the 50's this would have been easier as it was the womans job to be at home and take care of her husband so her life didnt change too much, it lived thru him....not today.
Women are out on their own, making their own life and sometimes somewhat better than men. Commitment is becoming scarce and as my big bro MelbSexMachine said, we're the start, the next generation is gonna be worse, commitment will be a thing of the past, marriage will become almost unheard of and ppl will choose to have kids alot later if at all.

Not to mention that my lifestyle over the next 10yrs wont exactly be the best for marriage or kids. I plan to travel and with the new found boost from BigBoss for me to travel as much as i can, kids wont be happening till my late 20's. Mariagge maybe i would be able to handle but he would have to have a similar lifestyle i reckon.

Alrite before i scare myself lets get this straight, Im not against it all, i want to eventually get married and have little MissItalianCuties but im really cautious as to who this other half will be. Too many marriages are rushed into because of the misconception of love and end up failing. I want to have kids yes, i want 2 infact, but i want to ensure that they get the lifestyle that i was fortunate enuf to be brought up in so i will strive to provide that.

As for Mr. MissItalianCutie? I am looking for him, an as much as it probably doesnt sound like it, i want someone to be happy with, i want that commitment. But i dont want this clouded judgement anymore, i've become picky about committing, I wont fall for it anymore unless i know he's the one i want to be with, one i can trust and trust myself with. Otherwise casual it will stay, wen that man comes along that makes my eyes stop wandering then this little cutie will be off the market let me assure u...

nite ragazzi

ps. if any men out there think they fit this description...leave me a msg ;) haha