a little tug here..... a little tug there.....
I.
Dont.
Know..
Really how to explain this one....
Has public masturbation become the new porn?
Im not stating that it's done infront of a crowd with a nice stage and intricate lighting scheme. But when such acts are being done outside your own house, in a somewhat nice car, with the light on and you sitting there...not having to do a thing...expected to just sit back and enjoy....how do u feel comfortable???
Now dont get me wrong, if your in the bedroom with your significant other and things are getting a bit wild wild....it has been known, even for this little innocence....that women will often start tickling their own fancy.....and men alike....this is acceptable for the place and mood....
But when a random, horny as i havent had sex in a year, guy calls up wanting to play around...this is NOT A TURN ON...
He simply wanted to come over, pull his pants down and for my mouth to just be magically open.... this really didnt do much for me as all i would come out with is no satisfaction what so ever and a bad case of jaw lock (or as later found out...that would not occur hehe). So as i thought this was already a desperate attempt at getting off.... i wondered how far it would go.... so i pushed it to a point that any man i knew would refuse....
'No, i want to see you play with it...'
Obviously sarcasm isn't felt over text messaging as the reply was...
'Alright i'll come over and you can watch me in the car. See u in 20. bye.'
FUCK.
So i rang my most reliable source DeliHunni and told her the situation... She stated if he actually went through with it...take your phone and get pictures! So i thought about it and i was like....yeh, he wont do it, and if he does...this is just too good to not witness...
So he arrived, i subtly went out in my most unattractive outfit and sat in his car....the awkwardness you could cut with a knife..... he stated that maybe we should kiss first...but i kindly refused stating i was just there to watch...hehehehehe
So he proceeded to quickly take ALL clothing off (so unnecessary) and sit there spanking the monkey...with such a disinterested face.... I asked if he was ok and he looked at me with the biggest grin..... go figure...
So yes this took all of about 5 mins and then i hopped out of the car...trying to hold back tears of laughter and stated see u next time...without any intention of ever seeing this man again..... and i havent... no communication, nothing....and thats the way i'll keep it i think....anything else is just way too creepy...
the fact u men exist scare me....
7 Comments:
oh this dude IS weird... I have no issue with it being done in the bedroom...infact i think i've prob asked before...
but this was just cheesy....not only did he HAVE to take all his clothes off, he asked whether i would like the light on!!!! ewwww! no thanks!!!
so yes im scared, and daddy was right, never get in the car with STRANGE people...hehehehe
1:21 PM
Hmm... If I were you, MIC, and I'm so obviously not, seeing as I'm male, a smidge older and, I'd venture to guess, hairier than you in certain areas of my grooming zones, I would be flattered.
To share something mildly personal: as a man-child with hormones and two perfectly capable eyes that appreciate the finer sex, I get turned on by THINKING about certain chicks' features. Viagra is for desperados. The brain's memory is for extra-fast erections... Anyway, some chicks have great lips, others have great butts, others have exceptionally good curves all over. So, that's where I'm assuming this bloke was coming from. He may have had an uplifting thought about one or all of your features and had an uncontrollable urge to 'follow through' as it were. ;)
I like how 'Jenny' talked about 'boys'... So cute!!! :)
9:34 AM
ok so the past couple of guys i have been intimate with have been disappointing in the fact its lasted 5 mins...
should i be taking this as a compliment??? that ahhhh MIC (buffing her nails) is just too good :P
11:15 AM
Fuckin' oath, MIC!!! Who cares how long it takes when you're NOT involved? I mean, you're talking about a masturbatory session that you weren't physically involved in and not crunchy sexola... The quicker, the better - I'd imagine.
Granted, if it was a case of five minutes and there was a bit of penetration and mutual interest in the act then you'd have every right to feel jacked-off [nudge, nudge]. But tis not the case from what I interpreted with this post, babe.
According to my foolproof theory that Beauty = Semen Divided by Time, I'd say you're doing rather damned well on the attract-o-meter reading. Anything under five minutes is a certain B-plus rating in my books, but the true test of raunchiness [where you don't actually do a thing; dressed in your worst clothes or whatever] is when the same process can be repeated in under a minute. That's when you've reached what I like to refer to as Beyonce-ness.
:)
11:35 AM
hahaha u crack me up....
but i have to admit, im sorry but from the past couple i speak of....it has been more of a penetrational, mutual experience... so then as jacked off as u could imagine i would be....do i still take that as a compliment....
i just want a nice man...with good stamina...to re-enact the all to famous 'justify my love video.'
11:40 AM
my God get a fucking life..thats fucking disgusting. you and the guy. why the fuck would you want to see it??? other than go an brag about it on the internet. wierd
10:27 PM
oh hunni.... u dont know me, and if u had enough care to write something there then my post has served its cause.
posts are romanticised tellings of everyday happenings, and sometimes those happen to be less than desireable.
i not brag about it, as then i would have supported it. I rather use it as a tool to show men, what they think us women like, we find quite creepy.
dont be too quick to judge, and if so stand by ur comments ANONYMOUS rather than shoot and hide...
and im spent...
3:22 PM
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